FNB's Evil Banking System

I'm unhappy with my bank right now. Given that it's the end of January, this is hardly surprising. What makes it worse is that there are some people at FNB who are trying really hard to paper over the cracks, but underneath their system sucks. Like most banks, it is greedy, manipulative, and criminally irresponsible. So I'm singling out FNB because it is my bank, not because its the worst, or the best. It's just evil.
The "platinum" credit card springs to mind: it's plastic, not metal, but then marketing and lies are always good bedfellows. When I tried to "upgrade" my existing card to the "platinum" card they "approved in principle" a credit limit of 300% of my monthly salary. Yes folks, 3 times what I earn! Are they insane? I asked the FNB CEO.
He didn't deny it, and went on to say they think a monthly debt repayment amount should not be more that 30% of a person's salary. So, notwithstanding the amount I pay on my bond every month is already 20% of my salary before tax, they were happy to burden me with a massive debt every month amounting to 30% of my income. They call this "prudent"; I call it criminal.
The minimum monthly repayment on credit card debt is 10% of the amount owing, plus interest of 21%. Both of these are fixed by law. So the maths is then quite simple: if you repay 30% of your income and that represents 10% of your debt, it seems reasonable to lend you 300% of your salary. What the evil little bankers don't explain is that at 21% interest, your debt doubles every 20 months, so it's going to take a lot longer than 10 months to pay off the debt you incurred in the first place.
They also seem to think they are doing you a favour by lending you so much money. Actually, they are setting you up for a nice little interest repayment and profit. Anyone stupid enough to run up their credit card debt (notice how it's called "credit", not "debt", because "credit" sounds less evil) to 300% their salary is going to spend years getting out of that mess, if they ever do. That's another reason why the bank is criminally irresponsible.
The next "gotcha" is for people like me who keep their credit card limit low. As it turned out, the R800 limit was a little too low, and I inadvertently exceeded it. Twice. At R220 per time. What galls me even more is that if you make a payment on a Sunday, they only process it on the Monday. But they are happy to process debits on a Sunday, and charge the overlimit fee of R220, without even blinking, knowing full well that your payment will only be processed on the Monday.
When I questioned this practice, they tried to lie to me and tell me they processed the debits on the Saturday, when I have both email and SMS proof that it was done on Sunday. (See update below)
The next monumental "gotcha" happened when they "upgraded" my card. I arranged for a more practical limit of R1500, and the R61.25 card fee would be paid monthly, not annually. So they went ahead and changed the card number, issued the new cards to my wife and myself, and promptly charged me the R735** annual card fee. If I had maintained my previous card limit they would have also hit me with a third R220 overlimit fee. Needless to say I was not impressed.
The card division could easily explain to me that this was because, in spite of the fact that they opened the new account this month, my longstanding credit card arrangement still fell under the Usuary Act, not the National Credit Act, and as such they weren't allowed to charge me monthly. (Really??) This led to the most glaringly obvious question: "Why didn't you tell me in advance that the monthly option was not available?" They, of course, shrugged their shoulders and denied any responsibility. (Criminally irresponsible?)
"It's the system" was their only defence. "Well, then, fix the system!" I demanded. Silence.
Silence. Exactly. That's the evil part. The system will extract as many fees as possible in the process, and no, they will not entertain the possibility of improving it, unless that "improvement" means they can extract further bank fees or interest from the public. They are not prepared to modify their system to warn their customers in advance. Why should they? The worst the customer will do is rant and rave at a call centre operator, which is what they are paid for.
The easy part was telling me the reason for the R735** deduction. It has taken longer to fix the problem. This involved creating another new credit card account and going through another credit approval process, this time under the National Credit Act. For this privilege they are now going to charge me a further R135*, but of course they didn't tell me about that when they explained how to fix the other problem. Of course not, because I would have told them where to shove it. Why the need for a card fee at all? Aren't the greedy bastards satisfied with the 5% or more they get from merchants on each transaction, or from the 21% interest they charge when payments are late? Clearly not. And it's not like they have to find the money to lend to their credit card clients: they can "invent" most of it. But that's another story.
One further screw up: when they created the new card account they ignored the credit limit amount of R1500 that I confirmed on the phone, and changed it to R1350 instead. Why? Because they could. So it took another phone call to fix it, plus another phone call to get the new card account to show on my online banking profile. Clearly their system could do with a few improvements. For consumers.


Now you know why I believe that the collective noun for bankers is very appropriate: it's a "wunch" of bankers.
Update Tue 29 January: FNB Card Division has agreed to reverse the second overlimit fee. They claim the deduction was made on the Saturday, but the SMS notification messages were only sent on the Sunday, and (conveniently) blame this on "external service providers", while making no mention of the failure of their own internal email system. My guess is that the deductions are not synchronized with the notifications, and the notifications were only sent the following day.
Basically, the InContact "security" system is not reliable, and therefore offers no "security" whatsoever. It's a good marketing gimmick when it works, and a major pain when it doesn't. Basically, whenever you buy anything and don't receive the SMS immediately, you need to keep the slip separately, and check it off when the transaction eventually appears. In the meantime, the "available credit" figure they provide is misleading and wrong.
**Had I borrowed R735 as a short term loan from FNB, the repayment amount (within 1 month) would have been R824.90, which includes an "initiation" fee of R74.90. Since FNB took the money from me, they charged me an initiation fee of R135*, and didn't even pay interest when they reversed the transaction. I'm sure they don't think anything is wrong either.
Update Wed 30 January: *Card Division has quietly reversed the R135 card initiation fee. I had requested this because I didn't see why I should pay it when it wasn't my fault that I had to apply for a new card in the first place.
So now all the objectionable charges have been manually reversed, but there is no indication from anyone at FNB that the systems that caused them have been fixed. One can only hope, although I'm not holding my breath.

ATM Crime in SA

Footage of ATM being blow up, vandalised, and demolished by a front-end loader. Also footage of people having their cards stolen or taken at gunpoint. Brought to you by The Times and FNB. Eish!

ATM Blast Warning - article

Home Loan Nightmare

Don't expect any customer service when you get your home loan from FNB. Never mind that it's the biggest purchase most individuals will ever make, and it's a steady and lucrative source of income for the bank; still, they reserve the right to ignore your enquiries or push you around. They don't care: it's not their money.
I always thought the FNB logo depicted a tree. Actually, its an organizational diagram of the levels of complexity you have to go through to get anywhere. Let's review my home loan as an example:

• They told the bond broker that they had approved only R590,000, and then sent her documentation that indicated the full amount of R610,000.
• They didn't read the offer to purchase and put in the names of other lawyers.
• They sent the inspector to the wrong address.
• The inspector had to phone the lawyers to get the name of the property.
• The final grant states: "The property must be insured for a minimum amount of R490,858.50 and monthly premiums will be advised following registration of the bond. Insurance cover is to be effective from the date of registration of the bond" but on their web site they state that there are two different kind of cover ("Home Owners Cover" and "Home Loan Protection Plan") and that the first kind isn't required for sectional title purchases such as mine. So which of the two types are they referring to when talking about "Home Loan Insurance"? Where do they get that number from, anyway?

When I asked for clarification on what is required and what it would cost, they couldn't or wouldn't say. I was referred to Outsurance. Why is it only possible to advise me on the monthly premiums after the bond has been registered, when it's too late to do anything about them? Are they insane?
Their chatty but vague web site also mentions a whole bunch of additional home buying expenses, but that list isn't half of it. See what other creative accounting options the law firm has come up with.
Thank goodness I didn't have to deal with the bank directly on most of these issues, or I'd be a raving lunatic by this stage. The only sane thing I did was employ the services of a very competent and patient bond broker. Go Melissa!

Update 24 November 2006: A very helpful lady called Cheryl phoned to say that FNB is trying to figure out what went wrong, and they will get someone to call me to clarify things. It's good to know they don't let these matters go without attempting to sort things out. Go FNB!

There Ought to be a Law Against this Kind of Behaviour

Banks, Lawyers and Estate Agents: why do I despise them so much? Is it because they don't understand who the customer is, or is it maybe that they just couldn't give a damn? Perhaps it's just sheer incompetence, or ducking and diving to avoid having to be straightforward and honest. Whatever it is, I find it totally baffling.
The three are a deadly combination, and I'm having to cope with all of them simultaneously at present. We are presently in the process of buying our flat. So we sign the offer to purchase, only to have it sent back twice: the first time because they inadvertently included another unit instead of a carport, and the second time because the seller wanted my name on the form as well as my wife's. Of course the faffing around and errors didn't inspire much confidence, but we were (supposedly) the first people to take up the offer to buy, and I guess estate agents aren't really into details like paperwork. After all, they've been doing this every day for years. You'd think they'd eventually get the hang of how it works. Sad, really. At least there were no outright lies like the last estate agents I had the misfortune of dealing with.
The next complication came from the banks. How I love them! Nedbank got the amount wrong (why am I not surprised), as did (sub)Standard Bank, but FNB came through with flying colours: well, almost. They sent the assessor to the wrong building, and got the name of the lawyers wrong. It would have been so much easier if they had actually read the offer to purchase documentation. With a bit of coaxing we got them to fix their blunders.
Now the final hurdle rests with the lawyers. I'm not sure whether they were supposed to explain their cost structure, or whether this was the job of the estate agents, but either way they did a pretty bad job of it all. I guess they just couldn't bring themselves to be open and upfront about the costs involved. "Vague" is not a good approach when you're dealing with my money, dammit!
When they sent a letter on 28th August 2006 (addressed to me as "Dear Madam"), they attached without explanation two "cost guidelines". Based on our purchase price, the first schedule ("Guideline to Bond Registration Costs") mentions an amount of R 6328.00. "In addition, provision should be made for postage and petties, bank administration charges, FICA fee, online instruction fee and insurance certificate charge."
The second schedule ("Guideline Registration of Transfer Costs") mentions an amount of R14564. "In addition to the above, provision should be made for postage and petties and FICA fee."
I guess I should have asked for clarification on these points, but I didn't do so immediately. Now when I have asked the matter gets worse. "Posts and Petties" come to a staggering R800, since the same fee gets charged twice. "FICA compliance" is also charged twice, once at R400 and another at R200. Similarly, "Deeds Office Registration Fee" is listed twice at R400 a time. Did I mention all of these amounts exclude VAT? Did I also mention the two "Deeds Office Search" fees of R100 each?
But wait, there's more! Did I mention the "Bank Fee" of R1168.50 and the "Estimated levy clearance" fee of R2000? Gosh, I must have missed them. The upshot of all this is that instead of paying a total of R20892 at some non-specific time in the future, they are now expecting us to pay an additional amount of R4898.50 as well, which works out at a 23.4% surcharge! That's an incredible increase in only 68 days, don't you think?
As you can tell, I'm not a happy customer at this point. But then I thing they thought they could just tell me what to do and get away with it. I have asked for clarification on this matter, and will update this post accordingly. I have also asked them to be a lot more specific about what amounts are to be paid, and when. I guess I'd better not hold my breath.
Update 13 February 2007: I finally obtained clarification from the lawyers, after kicking up a fuss and demanding they call me to explain. After all, the email enquiry has been ignored since 2nd November 2007. I'm tempted to mention the name of the law firm, not to mention the estate agents who have been avoiding me.

FNB Loses the Plot Again

Yesterday, Barrett Whiteford, Head of Marketing, FNB Card, sent my wife the most stupid email I have ever seen. These FNB guys have truly lost the plot. I wonder if they actually think about their emails.
In an email "newsletter" (i.e. spam) to all FNB Credit Card customers, i.e. customers who already have a credit card, they say:

Apply for an FNB C/C and get a response in 5 seconds flat!
FNB Card is proud to announce its real time, online, credit card application process. This special promotion is only on until the end of July and will allow you to know within seconds whether you qualify for a credit card ...

The title of the email reads: "Test the world's fastest credit card application", so its obviously really important that everyone who already has an FNB credit card should now rush out and spend 5 seconds applying for another one. The mind boggles.
Maybe if they gave it 5 seconds of thought they's realise they are talking to the wrong people. These are the same people who ask you to send them your credit card account number via email, so I guess not.

Get Lost, FNB!

I love my bank. They are so considerate. I ask them not to send me markeing stuff, and they simply ignore me. "How can we help you?" they ask. But when I tell them they don't listen.
They are obliged to keep my details confidential, but they give my details to some dodgy marketing organisation/ advertising agency called "Trigger" to send the emails. The emails are actually there to sell travel insurance.


Play in London? No, play in the traffic, FNB!

See also: Drop Dead, Marketing!

Drop Dead, Marketing!

Financial Institutions never cease to amaze me. On the one hand they conduct really optimistic ad campaigns in the media, with totally unrealistic slogans like "We'd like to be Your Bank" or "How Can We Help You?". But to be fair, my bank does actually provide useful services and better security than most.
It's just their marketing department that bothers me. They send me "promotional" (i.e. invasive) SMS messages to my cell phone that I didn't ask for. I gave them permission to tell me about transactions going through my credit card and current account, but since when does that give them license to tell me about a new kind of product or a competition?
Why is this a problem, you ask? Well, because I use the SMS service on my phone to send and receive important messages. And marketing shlock is singularly unimportant and frankly its a bloody nuisance.
What's worse than annoying SMS messages are people who think they can phone me at meal times and sell me stuff. Again, my bank is the biggest culprit, mainly because I'm careful about who I give my cell number to. They wanted to sell me a FNB funeral plan. I told them to drop dead.