"Never Trust a Phone Company That Makes Fridges"

Deon Meyer is a great author, and in his latest thriller, "Cobra", he has some interesting throw-away comments about smart phones. The first one deals with Samsung becoming "the new Illuminati and taking over the world".

This comment is made by a cop with an opinion about everything. I laughed out loud when I heard it on the audio book, and then looked it up on Google Books for the screen shot shown here. Does the comment "Never trust a phone company that makes fridges" apply to Hisense as well as Samsung? I wonder ...

Tyrone is a pickpocket in the novel. He keeps and uses the Windows phone because it has zero resale value and because he stole it anyway, but he won't pay for a replacement one, even though the money was stolen. Microsoft definitely has a marketing problem: "Nobody wants a Windows phone". And Microsoft used to be really good at marketing. Nokia too, until they started making unreliable phones. My last one is only 18 months old and it reboots at random.

Apple Fanboys Being Mocked

I guess the Apple reality distortion field won't last forever. I don't know if I'll get a smartphone, but if I do, it won't be an Apple product. Not after they way they treated me in the past.

My Blackberry isn't working

This is the modern day version of the parrot skit. Brilliant!

Apple's Evil Ways

Jason Calacanis is bright, articulate and successful. He has spent over $20,000 on Apple products, and now he's had enough. I know exactly how he feels.
My budget was considerably smaller, but the bad experience still lingers. I only bought two iPod Shuffles, of which one doesn't work and I can't listen to audio books on the other. Instead, I use my trusty Nokia 3120 phone. I got it with my budget phone contract, so it is essentially free.
If I'm listening to a podcast or audio book the phone politely pauses the file while I'm on the phone, and then cleverly rewinds a short way and continues playing, so I don't miss a beat. By contrast the iPod locks up from time to time and often skips 10 minutes AHEAD if I pause the book. HUH?!
Jason's blog post, "The Case Against Apple--in Five Parts" arrived by email, which is good because this blog is grey and almost unreadable. Just subscribe to his mailing list, which is awesome.

Goodbye iPod Shuffle, hello Nokia 3120 Classic phone

Today my iPod Shuffle 1GB model finally died with a "write error", meaning that the crappy flash memory has failed at a critical location, so the iPod software won't work. I doubt very much whether it can be fixed, but it may be worth a try.
I bought the 1GB model as a backup for the 512kb model that I use with my OtterBox, a waterproof device that cost twice as much as the iPod itself, but which allows me to listen to music when I'm swimming. It cuts down on the boredom of swimming training and makes it fun to swim lengths, particularly to dance music classics.
I have stopped using the iPod for listening to podcasts or audio books, because my cell phone can do that. It's a basic model Nokia 3120 Classic, but with the extra USB cable attached and a 2GB MicroSD memory card, it works better than the iPod Shuffle, and pauses the audio book when I receive a call.
Now I don't have to have two sets of earphones, nor do I have to pay Apple any more money for their overpriced products. They have never allowed South African customers to buy music from the iTunes store, which has always annoyed me. I would rather pay Nokia for some accessories that make my phone more usable.
The phone is better in other ways too: it doesn't lose its place when pausing audio books (Apple refused to fix that bug), it has a speaker so I don't have to use earphones, it includes a radio and camera, and it is included with my basic phone contract, so I can keep my phone costs down. Less clutter in my pockets and round my neck too.

Misleading: Incredible!

It seems that Incredible Connection has joined the group of advertisers who are happy to mislead consumers with their "Windows Compatible" adverts. My complaint is that the adverts don't say how much extra you have to pay, or that Windows is not supported on the Mac.
In my book (not a MacBook) that is misleading, not to mention bad marketing. The cost of buying Windows on their web site is not cheap either, and if your original PC came with Windows pre-installed then your "Recovery CD" is unlikely to work on a Mac, piracy notwithstanding. So the "All-in-Wonderful iMac" is not as "all-in" or "wonderful" as it would appear. I guess the "reality distortion field" famously associated with Apple has extended to South Africa. I also tried http://www.zastore.co.za/email_window_enquire.htm but haven't had a reply.
Update 26th January: Greg Hill, the product marketing manager at Core Group, the Apple distributor in SA, called me.

"The intention of the "Windows Compatible" decal on the marketing material that you came across was not to mislead the consumer at all, but rather to highlight the fact that these fantastic machines are also capable of running MS Windows.
In future we will ensure that the consumer is made aware that the price does not include MS Windows.
We will also takes steps to coach the retail staff to communicate clearly that a legitimate version of Windows is required in order to take advantage of this feature on the Mac."

Apple: the piracy option

I phoned some of the the computer stores listed in the "Windows Compatible" ad (above) and asked them what it would cost extra to run Windows on a Mac.

Each salesman explained about Boot Camp, and how you would need to reconfigure a Mac's partitions to create a Windows partition. They also confirmed that Apple does not provide Windows support. The sad thing is that both salesmen encouraged me to install a pirate copy of Windows.
They talked about using "an existing Windows CD" and were quite surprised when I asked for the cost of buying Windows new, instead of using an existing copy of Windows. I was quoted R1126 for Vista Home Premium and R 1582 for Vista Business, but with no support. Perhaps those prices are excluding VAT, because PriceCheck lists WinXP Home edition DSP pricing starting at R1168 including VAT. Unless those are (illegal) upgrade prices, but even so they are lower than those indicated on PriceCheck.
The salesmen were surprised when I told them that installing Windows from a CD that came with a different PC was called piracy. The one guy ducked the question by saying "it depends on the number of licenses you have". That may be true for a large business with multiple licenses, but if a home user installs Windows on a different PC to the one it was supplied with, you are technically breaking the law. I wonder what Microsoft has to say about all this?

Update 26th January: Greg Hill, the product marketing manager at Core Group, the Apple distributor in SA, called me.

"The intention of the "Windows Compatible" decal on the marketing material that you came across was not to mislead the consumer at all, but rather to highlight the fact that these fantastic machines are also capable of running MS Windows.
In future we will ensure that the consumer is made aware that the price does not include MS Windows.
We will also takes steps to coach the retail staff to communicate clearly that a legitimate version of Windows is required in order to take advantage of this feature on the Mac."

And on a lighter note:

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

MacBook is Windows Compatible? No seriously.

This was definitely one of those laugh out loud moments; followed by desperate searches for the Advertising Standards Authority phone number. Oh, wait! They're closed for Christmas, so by the time they get to slap Apple over the wrist for a false advertising complaint, it will be too late.
So here is my public service announcement for the week: the iMac and MacBook products listed on the flyers that are doing the rounds in your local newspaper are not only Windows Compatible, they're DOS and Linux compatible as well. And if you believe that you'll believe anything.
You can't install any Windows programs on a mac, since there are no Windows applications that run on OSX. Try installing Microsoft Access and call me if you can get it to work. There may be equivalent programs for the mac, such as Firefox and OpenOffice.org, or even a mac version of Microsoft Office, but you have to buy these separately. It's called the Apple tax.
Alternatively, you partition the drive and install Windows Vista on your mac. In order to do that you have to cough up R3249 for a retail copy of Windows. Then your old Windows apps will install and run, at least on the iMac. If that's what you call compatible then you might as well just install Ubuntu and be patriotic.
I wonder if Apple South Africa will be forced to give refunds to everyone who believes this kind of marketing? Do they really disrespect their customers that much that they want to lie to their customers in order to get them to buy their products? I thought only timeshare companies did that. The full pamphlet is shown below. Click on the image for a full size (scanned) version.

Update 31 Dec 2008: Apple UK sent me the following link, which explains how to set up Windows on a Mac. But you have to buy the book for £24.95, plus you have to buy Windows, so the advertising is still misleading, because the implication of the flyer is that it is all included in the price, which it isn't. It also doesn't mention that Apple provides no technical support for Windows.
Now you no longer have to choose between Mac OS X and Windows. The latest Macs from Apple can run both Mac OS X and Windows, so you’re not limited to just one operating system. Running Windows on your Mac explains how this simple technology works and walks you through every phase of the process of setting up Windows on your Mac. Are you a Windows user who’s buying your first Mac? A Macintosh user who needs to run Windows software? Or just a computer user who wants the best of both worlds? There’s something in this book for everyone. You’ll find detailed instructions for installing Windows on your Mac in three easy ways; a friendly guide to the Mac for Windows users; and a handy reference to Windows for Mac users.
In this book, you’ll learn how to:

• Load and configure the two most popular Mac OS X virtualization programs, Parallels Desktop for Mac and VM ware Fusion.
• Install Windows easily, either in Parallels or Fusion, or with Boot Camp.
• Keep your Windows installation in top shape, free of viruses and spyware.
• Run Windows applications alongside Macintosh programs.
• Add your new Mac to an existing Windows network.
• Explore the intricacies of a new operating system, whether it’s Mac OS X or Windows.

Update 20 January 2009: The ASASA sent me this letter, indicating they haven't a clue about computers, and they didn't listen to my complaint properly either. I wrote:

My complaint is that the goods on offer, as shown and configured, are not “Windows Compatible” as claimed: the user has to purchase a full retail copy of Windows to use on the machine, at a cost of around R3000, which is a significant amount. The average buyer cannot simply buy an Apple computer and install and run his favourite Windows game or application, which is what “compatibility” implies. If the average buyer has a Windows install CD from a previous machine, installing this software on the Apple computer would be illegal software piracy.
Also, it should be pointed out that neither Microsoft nor Apple provide any support for Apple computers with Windows installed, and the buyer should have been warned.
The advert is thus misleading because of the omissions. I feel that some kind of explanation should have been provided, even just an asterisk and the words “additional unsupported software and configuration required”. There is enough space on the advert for such a disclaimer.

In reply they wrote:

You mention that the product does not include windows [sic], and is therefore misleading. ... The advertising does not offer windows [sic] but communicates to a consumer that should they expect windows [sic] access, the Apple computer would support this function.

Precisely, but at what cost? Over R3000, without the labour and computer skills required! Considering I paid R 3800 for a new computer that includes Windows Vista, that is not an insignificant amount. I guess that's chicken feed when compared to the cost of a R24 000 Macbook Pro, but the cost is still an extra 12%.
One wonders what the ASA would say about an advert for a Ferrari being "Caravan Compatable"? Anyone who knows anything about cars would say it would be misleading and outrageous because of the extra cost and damage to the engine.
What would the ASA say about this? A TV may be DVD compatable, but you have to buy a DVD player to play DVDs. And DVD players are a lot cheaper than a retail copy of Windows.
Update 26th January: Greg Hill, the product marketing manager at Core Group, the Apple distributor in SA, called me.

"The intention of the "Windows Compatible" decal on the marketing material that you came across was not to mislead the consumer at all, but rather to highlight the fact that these fantastic machines are also capable of running MS Windows.
In future we will ensure that the consumer is made aware that the price does not include MS Windows.
We will also takes steps to coach the retail staff to communicate clearly that a legitimate version of Windows is required in order to take advantage of this feature on the Mac."