FNB Loses the Plot Again

Yesterday, Barrett Whiteford, Head of Marketing, FNB Card, sent my wife the most stupid email I have ever seen. These FNB guys have truly lost the plot. I wonder if they actually think about their emails.
In an email "newsletter" (i.e. spam) to all FNB Credit Card customers, i.e. customers who already have a credit card, they say:

Apply for an FNB C/C and get a response in 5 seconds flat!
FNB Card is proud to announce its real time, online, credit card application process. This special promotion is only on until the end of July and will allow you to know within seconds whether you qualify for a credit card ...

The title of the email reads: "Test the world's fastest credit card application", so its obviously really important that everyone who already has an FNB credit card should now rush out and spend 5 seconds applying for another one. The mind boggles.
Maybe if they gave it 5 seconds of thought they's realise they are talking to the wrong people. These are the same people who ask you to send them your credit card account number via email, so I guess not.

Get Lost, FNB!

I love my bank. They are so considerate. I ask them not to send me markeing stuff, and they simply ignore me. "How can we help you?" they ask. But when I tell them they don't listen.
They are obliged to keep my details confidential, but they give my details to some dodgy marketing organisation/ advertising agency called "Trigger" to send the emails. The emails are actually there to sell travel insurance.


Play in London? No, play in the traffic, FNB!

See also: Drop Dead, Marketing!

The Zuma Legacy

Once again, sanity prevails in the face of arrogance and stupidity.

Hogarth sues Jacob Zuma for R7.2bn

Dear Sir,
INJURIOUS AND DEFAMATORY LETTER TO JOURNALISTS
Your letter suing editors, journalists and cartoonists et al for millions of rands refers.
Our clients’ instructions are as follows:
1.That in no correspondence did you mention mutatis mutandis Hogarth or any item occurring in said column.
2.That you wilfully, deliberately and in the face of blinding prima facie evidence, failed to cite Hogarth as a defendant in any such papers.
3.That your client was fully aware that Hogarth had written items which ridiculed and sought to cause hilarity with your client being the grande fontana centrala of such mirth.
4.Have ipso facto damaged Hogarth’s reputation as a source of laughter, suppressed laughter and related expression with reference to yourself.
THEREFORE DEMANDS: That your client deposit multum espresso the amount of R7.2-billion in Hogarth’s bank account by noon tomorrow, failing which you will be subjected to further absurd letters of this nature.
Yours etc,
Jabberwocky, Mabuza, Van Zyl and Potemkin

Hogarth and Zapiro: what an unbeatable combination! I wish them well in their battle against the forces of stupidity and arrogance.

Hogarth Article in the Sunday Times | Zuma thinks he's in the US

Jon Qwelane sells out in support of Jacob Zuma

Veteran journalist Jon Qwelane says he is fully behind Jacob Zuma’s defamation action against the media and he lashed out at the Mail & Guardian’s cartoonist, Jonathan “Zapiro” Shapiro, who is among Zuma’s targets.
Recently Zuma’s lawyers, led by advocate Jurg Prinsloo, reportedly lodged a series of multimillion-rand suits against Zapiro, The Star, The Sunday Independent, 94.7 Highveld Stereo, The Citizen, Sunday Times, Rapport, Sunday Sun and Sunday World.
This week, Qwelane reiterated his support for Zuma and the legal action against the media, saying Zuma had winnable cases.
He first made his views known two months ago during a media briefing with the Democratic Professionals Association, a Durban-based group of professionals supporting Zuma.
“I still maintain that all graphics, including photos and cartoons, that appear in the media should always be legal, not defamatory, and in good taste,” said Qwelane. “The lack of fairness, as I believe existed in the coverage of Jacob Zuma, is tantamount to dishonest reporting.”
Qwelane, who claimed to have introduced Zapiro to journalism, now said he regretted this. He claimed Zapiro was “prostituting” himself between newspapers and that some of his works on the Zuma saga were “absolutely despicable and in bad taste”.
Zapiro denied Qwelane’s claim, saying: “I think the original Weekly Mail, Sunday Times, Die Suidafrikaan, Cape Argus, Cape Times, Style, Femina, Vrye Weekblad and lots of others would be interested to hear that they are not considered media -- I was published and had received coverage in all of those publications long before I ever heard of Jon Qwelane.”
He also said: “I will not be intimidated by Zuma’s legal challenge, I am working on more Zuma cartoons. He says I injured his reputation. I did not. He is the one who injured his reputation by the things he said in court.
“As someone who headed the moral regeneration movement and the Aids council, he has to understand that people will take shots at him if he says things that contradict what those organisations stand for.”
Zapiro said he was perplexed as to why Zuma was not suing the Mail & Guardian, which had published more hard-hitting cartoons than the ones that appeared in The Star, for which both he and The Star were being sued.
Prinsloo, who leads Zuma’s legal team on the matter, is a former Conservative Party MP who defended Chris Hani’s killers, Chris Derby-Lewis and Janus Walusz. This has reportedly earned Zuma opprobrium from some of his Communist Party and Congress of South African Trade Unions supporters.
Zuma aide and former journalist Ranjeni Munusamy said: “The fact is that there are many people who say they want to help, but very few who actually do help.” She said Prinsloo would not charge Zuma for his work.

Journo censures media in support of Msholozi : Mail & Guardian Online

Zuma Shows Support for Freedom of the Press

Jacob Zuma, South Africa's former deputy president, took aim at the media on Monday, suing publishers, editors, reporters, a cartoonist and newspapers for their coverage and comment of his rape trial.
The defamation claims run into hundreds of millions of rands, much of it directed at reporters and editors of Independent Newspapers.
The Star newspaper said on Tuesday that Zuma is demanding R125-million for an article and a series of cartoons it published. Apparently Zuma's lawyers served Independent Newspapers separate summonses for different articles, which total R125-million.
The paper said lawyers for Zuma contend that the articles and cartoons "injured [Zuma] in his dignity and his reputation".
The cartoons were created by Jonathan Shapiro, who uses the pen name Zapiro and contributes cartoons to several media groups, including Independent Newspapers and Johnnic Communcations, which publishes the Sunday Times.
Zuma wants R15-million from Shapiro for creating three cartoons relating to Zuma's rape trial earlier this year. Zuma was acquitted on all charges of raping a 31-year-old HIV-positive family friend. He maintained they had consensual sex.
What reputation?
Shapiro told the Mail & Guardian Online on Tuesday morning that there are three specific cartoons that Zuma or his lawyers feel are defamatory and have injured his dignity and reputation.
"What reputation? He has done everything that needs to be done to damage his own reputation," said Shapiro.
"What I feel -- and I really do see this as a publicity stunt -- [is that] he's obviously trying to find ways to ameliorate the damage he himself has caused. He's obviously caused a lot of damage to himself in and out of court … This is spin. I don't think it's going to go far."
One of the cartoons that raised Zuma's ire depicts him being sworn in at his rape trial. He is shown with two fingers raised -- and crossed.
Another cartoon shows the "Jacob Zuma Moral Regeneration Handbook".
"I got a huge response from that cartoon," said Shapiro. "I looked really carefully at all the stuff he had said and had been quoted on. The attitudes were reflected there [in the cartoon] are so directly linked to his own statements. If I had to, I'd defend them in court, but I don't think they will get that far. I think he [Zuma] will come off badly."
Shapiro said the defamation cases are an attempt by Zuma to "retrieve his reputation".
"His reputation is irretrievable -- and undamageable among another sector [of the population]. He's going to come off badly again -- except with his diehard supporters who can't see him doing anything wrong."
The third cartoon over which Shapiro is being taken to task depicts Zuma emerging from the courtroom, "looking piglike", according to the cartoonist.
"He has an Aids-prevention shower on his head … his head is in two parts and he is shooting his umshini wam [machine gun]; there is a bottle of baby oil strapped to his leg. All those little details are based on things that are defensible."
Shapiro said he refuses to be cowed by the defamation suits.
"The last thing that I would want this to do would be to intimidate other satirists or commentators from doing what we want to do. This is designed to intimidate and curb free speech. It's designed as spin. I won't be intimidated."
'My name is Zuma'
Broadcaster 94.7 Highveld Stereo was initially to be sued for R5-million for broadcasting a satirical song called My Name Is Zuma, commenting on the rape trial.
It was played by Darren "Whackhead" Simpson, a member of the radio station's Rude Awakening (RAW) team. A statement by Zuma's legal team said the song was broadcast twice in April and May this year.
When the RAW team played the song again on Monday morning this week after hearing about the slander charge against them, Zuma decided to increase the claim against the radio station to R7-million.
"During the programme they mimicked a trial between themselves and Zuma. The Highveld Stereo presenter, Jeremy Mansfield, ruled at the end of the 'trial' that the accused was not guilty," said the statement by Zuma's legal team.
After this, Zuma informed his legal team he wanted the claim to be increased.
"It is unacceptable that someone can show such contempt for our legal system by aping a court sitting and pre-empting a judgement, and in this way just insulting me further," Zuma said in the statement.
Another claim of R10-million is against the Afrikaans Sunday paper, Rapport, while the Sunday Times has been hit with a R6-million claim.
The Citizen, Sunday Sun, Sunday Independent and Sunday World are being sued for R5-million each. Nearly all the items in which Zuma feels he was defamed are opinion pieces or cartoons.
The M&G is not among the media organisations being sued.
Zuma has appointed former Conservative Party MP advocate Jurg Prinsloo and Johannesburg attorney Wycliffe Mothuloe to fight his "crucifixion by the media" and investigate possible defamation claims.
A footnote in the press release Zuma issued on Monday states that "members of the defamation legal team will not have contact with the media at this stage".
The press release said the media organisations had 14 days to pay the claimed amounts to Zuma. If this did not happen, they would receive a summons to appear in court.

Zuma's revenge : Mail & Guardian Online